He Never Knows When to Stop

midnightwhitehare:

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Why yes I can anon!

Pairing: John/Rose

Warnings: NSFW, stuffing, weight gain

Description: Rose notices something odd about John’s eating habits, and decides to treat him by feeding him.

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the-foxiest-box:

Rose is terrified of spiders/insects and finds one in the bath one day. Cue panicked screaming.

"OH MY GOD JOHN THERE’S A HUGE BUG IN THE SHOWER COME KILL IT."

John pretends that he’s totally not as freaked out as she is and tries to kill it, but then it moves.

And then they both start screaming.

"OH MY GOD I CANT DO THIS YOU KILL IT."

"ARE YOU CRAZY, YOU KILL IT."

"NO YOU KILL IT."

"NO YOU KILL IT.”

This goes on for ten more minutes until they realize the bug has escaped.

cutiecalliope:

(SOURCE)

The site’s source is here however, it appears to be outdated and no matter how much google searching I do, I cannot find the actual post which is very unfortunate because this is really cute!

ask-karkats-shipping-chart:

Davejade and johnrose on rollerskates hey
probably one of mod’s fave requests
cutiecalliope:

Artist
(i found the artist but could not find the actual post no matter how much digging i did gomen. ;-;)

cutiecalliope:

Artist

(i found the artist but could not find the actual post no matter how much digging i did gomen. ;-;)

lightrises:

bnmmmf thank you for the resend anon <333!! /tucks rest under a read more….. because. AHEM

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Anonymous said: can i request some grimdorks? anything grimdorks

horriblething:

[Quick little future fic snippet!]

When he gets into his office for break, Rose is there waiting for him and there’s more stuff on his desk.

(A wind up robot, a hopping Godzilla, and three little rubber monster ladies to complete the set already started there.)

“Rose, I’m running out of space here! Can’t you store your weird knick knacks some where else? Like your own office?” There’s practically no space for him to put his lunch down!

“Well technically yes, but I can’t have my students knowing that I like things like this I have my reputation to maintain after all. You, John, are a “cool” teacher.” Rose makes air quotes around the word cool and John would probably be offended if anyone besides Rose did it. Besides, the older he gets the less he cares even the tiniest bit about coolness. “It is accepted that your office will be a house of frivolity and hijinks.”

“It’s too bad that they don’t get to see this part of you. The frivolous hijinks part.”

Rose waggles the little monster finger puppets on her hand.

“I think I like it better this way, though. When there are things just for us.”

And he kind of has to agree.

liongirl5:

I don’t even know

nahnah390:

Can we talk about something here? No one seems to pay attention to ANY interaction between John and Rose anymore. Even though they had plenty of conversations, no one cares. I don’t care if it was romantic or not, people just don’t care for some reason.

Yet… you know what? Why hasn’t paradox space ever just had… friendly interactions between them? Or John and Jade for that matter?

All anyone ever cares about is shipping, which is all about the rosemary and the karezi. Shipping is all well and good, but… honestly I just want to see these two people who haven’t talked in three years talk to each other and not have people completely ignore it like last time. You know what I’m talking about! No one cares for some reason… and I know it’s not literally no one, but it feels like that sometimes.

I don’t know, am I weird for wondering this? Is this not a normal thing to think about?

Anonymous said: Headcanon John has a baby face he cannot grow a mustache though he can grow stubble it takes a lot for him to grow a beard he bemoans said loss of 'stache.

pedipalpitations:

or wait, what if….what if it takes him ages to grow anything and eventually he is able to cultivate a  grow shitty teen sparse-stache and he’s so happy and Rose is like

"I’m not putting my mouth anywhere near that thing"

iso he’s stuck between being denied smooches until he can get past the gross wisp hair stage or getting rid of his beloved upperlip fur

(Jade finds in him in the bathroom tearfully shaving. rip shitstache)

ectobrologist:

My children~ <3

mustachioedoctopus:

oh man i forgot i could post these. here is what is did for my team’s collab entry.

What people think about Grimdorks

misterruse:

Non fans: A shirtless buff John with a rose in his mouth kicks the door down and claims that he’s come to Rose to woo her with his overwhelming heterosexuality. Rose swoons and is carried off.

Fans: A shirtless buff John with a rose in his mouth kicks the door down and claims that he’s come to Rose to woo her. Rose says “Of course you are” and is carried off, not looking up from her book.

Canon: John walks into the room with his hand on his mouth, mumbling that he cut his mouth on those stupid thorns on that stupid rose. Rose comforts him and they have a cute conversation.

princessbrojohn:

i want rose n john to kiss eachother (◡ω◡✿)

sticksareevil:

Spider Rose and Hamster John have the perfect friendship literally fight me